it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
