And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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