I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
