the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
