Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
My Sexting was not on an AP level
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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