I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
