are you still at the devil's house?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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