You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
We need to rekindle our bromance
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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