Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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