So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Come share oat with me in your robe
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
