He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
