everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
