Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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