Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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