kristin has been a bad kristin
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
