you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Randomize
