I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
it was like eating out sand paper
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
