she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
