Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
