how can u be prego again
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
