She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
