Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
