Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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