My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
