I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
