i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
