He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
