we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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