Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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