i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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