absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
