were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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