You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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