"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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