You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
