HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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