weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
