If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
