in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
