never play flip cup with pint glasses
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
