Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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