I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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