we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
