in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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