Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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