when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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