I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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