Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
