Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
