Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
