I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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