my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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