I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize