areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
