Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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