Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
