took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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